To My Son or Daughter
by Maygen Lauren
Summary: If you are reading this letter than you know that you have been left without a mother.


**Story Title: To My Son or Daughter **

**Summary: Peyton's letter to her unborn child. **

**Rating: K**

**Authors Note: I am so very proud of this one shot. I think the story behind it is absolutely beautiful and I was so thrilled to be writing it, that it took me literally less than two hours. Taylor is my proof, so when you see her review, she can clarify that. I've also heard, from my beta, and Taylor, that this is a real tear jerker. And I'm not going to lie, I absolutely burst into tears when I was writing this. **

**Inspiration: **Peyton Sawyer - A mother´s letter (Via youtube. Search it because it was the most amazing video I've ever seen. Made by Mary1209…who I did not get permission from. OPPS!)

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To my Son or Daughter,

If you are reading this letter than you know that you have been left without a mother. I can only assume that you are angry at me and maybe even blame yourself, but please, do not. I wanted to write this to explain to you my reasoning for the decisions I had to make. From the beginning I knew there was a possibility that my life would end by continuing through my difficult pregnancy, but an abortion was never an option. Your life was so important to me and your father and wouldn't allow myself to preserve my life over yours. Now listen to me, this was my decision and I had to make it. The only thing I will ever regret is not being able to see your face and watch you grow. I like to believe that I will be in a place where I can watch over you and your father, somewhere where my heart will continue to expand though it has stopped beating.

Though I may not be there for you in person, I would still like to educate you in the ways I know best. In this box, I have drawn you photos that explain the important events that led up to your life. I feel that it is important for you to know these little things about what made me me, so that you will know why I made the decision I did.

"_First of all, you don't know me. Second of all, you don't know me."_

In the first photo, laid just bellow this letter, is the moment where your father and I had just had our first conversation ever. At the time, we weren't dating, nor did I want too. I wasn't looking for a "relationship" or "love" because I didn't believe in it. When I was young, nine years old, my mother died in a car accident; maybe your father told you, but this had affected the way my teenage mind worked after I began to grow up. My heart longed for your father, but my brain sought reasons to stay away. Fear of being hurt and abandoned, ruled my mind and we decided to stay friends. But I still loved him; I always have.

"_It's you Peyton" _

The second photo, just below the first, tells the very romantic story of the day your father came to reason with who he really loved; me. I had already confessed my adoration for him, but he believed it wouldn't work out. I was afraid it would end there and that my assumptions from the beginning would come true. I was haunted with the idea that maybe I wasn't meant to be loved, only hurt. But at the state championship basketball game, he chose me. And that started it all.

"_Nothing will happen to you. I promise." "You're always saving me." "Somebody's got to" _

Though this next event in the third photo happened before the second one, I put it third only to express its importance. If you haven't realized it yet, I hope you understand that your daddy will always save you. He will always be there for you, to support you and I love him for that. He has saved me time and time again even before we started dating. He's helped me with the emotional things as well as the physical ones. I believe that the photo itself is pretty self explanatory and that it would be more entertaining, coming from your father. Just know that the person responsible for my pain should not be hated in your mind. It was an accident and that's what you are going to call it.

"_I want to be here. I've wanted this for so long."_

The next photo is just reinforcement. My life would have been so much better off from the start if I had just learned to let love in. Your father was the first person who'd ever "loved me" before I was ready. And I turned him down. I was afraid to love and I don't want you ever to follow in my foot steps that way.

Now, if you are anything like me, I bet the first thing you picked out of that pile of junk was that old black and white CD and the photo I'd attached to it. That was my mother, my birth mother. She'd given me up for adoption right after I was born so I could have the best childhood possible and I did and I still am so thankful for the time Elle, my biological mother, had given me with my adoptive parents. Together we made that CD to support the breast cancer foundation, because Elle had cancer, and she died from it when the CD's came to print. And it was because of her that I realized; though she was gone I could still love and be proud of my accomplishments. So I am, and I hope you enjoy some of the things I brought to this world, like Red Bedroom Records, which I've left to you.

"_Yes" "You didn't let me ask you yet." "Yes baby yes" _

The final photo, at the bottom of the box, sums up everything, your life and mine. I said no to your father's proposal the first time; well not exactly. I said I wasn't ready and I needed more time, which really did just go back to my fear and insecurity in making a commitment. And together, we gave up. Neither one of us held onto our relationship after we fell apart. But the time when we were separated gave us both a chance to think about our lives on a whole and we realized, this was it. We wanted to be together and we would be. So the second time around, in the same beautiful Las Vegas hotel room, I said yes.

Baby, I would still like to have a say in your life. I want you to listen to me when I say these following things. When all of your dreams come true, we'll be next to you. Your daddy will always save you. Do not be afraid of love; it is a beautiful thing. Follow your dreams. Enjoy life and say yes.

My mother once told me, "Every song ends. Is that any reason not to enjoy it?" And the answer is no. Enjoy the good things in life, because they do happen, to everyone. And don't mull over the bad. They go away. Some leave scars, but they teach a good lesson that I want you to take the time to understand.

I love you and though I am not with you in person I hope you love me too. I can expect big things from you in the future because I know you've got a big support system behind you. Things take time but with your family and friends, time will pass by quickly with reason.

And if you ever feel at loss with the world and you have no one to talk to, which I doubt, you can always talk to me. I will always listen.

Love, Mom

**So, what did you think?! Do you think I need to write a dear Lucas?**


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